People are emotionally exhausted trying to find connection in a world that’s more disconnected than ever. Dating apps have seen a sharp decline in usage, while in-person meetups and events are surging. As digital fatigue increases, especially among Gen Z and Millennials, so does society’s desire for meaningful relationships. 

However, the way people are trying to connect with each other has changed forever. Even though disenchantment with social media, scrolling, and apps is growing, the irony is that it has become commonplace for people to replace human interaction with technology, namely, AI companionship. Whether one embraces or abhors this reality, each person is just trying to find meaning in a world where technology and, increasingly, AI is ubiquitous.

So, what do we do as mental health professionals coaching in the AI age? Our focus should be on understanding why clients turn to AI companionship and helping them develop the self-awareness and skills to build meaningful in-person relationships. It's a new frontier, and navigating it well requires training that takes the digital world as seriously as you do. That's what we do at HG Institute.

Why are people turning to AI for companionship?

There are several reasons why AI companionship is becoming increasingly popular. Our first reaction may be to pass judgment on people who use AI as a supplement for or to fully replace human connection. However, we shouldn’t dismiss their motivations as they reveal deeply ingrained problems in modern Western societies.

The loneliness epidemic

In 2023, Dr. Vivek Murthy, the U.S. Surgeon General, declared a loneliness epidemic, reporting that nearly one-in-two adults (about 50%) in America experience measurable levels of loneliness. 

This is a worldwide phenomenon. One in six people on the planet experiences loneliness, and it’s associated with a 26% increase in premature death, the equivalent of smoking 15 cigarettes per day. 

For some, AI companions feel like the only option for socialization and connection. At the height of the loneliness epidemic, people across generations say they feel disconnected. It's easy to see why AI has become an attractive alternative to human connection.

Lack of social skills

The more intertwined technology has become with our daily lives, the more people’s social skills have atrophied. The art of conversation has been lost in a messy web of apps, screens, algorithms, games, and memes. Many youth who grew up with an iPad or phone in hand never learned how to properly socialize face-to-face at all. 

To make matters worse, COVID shutdowns prevented high school and college students from attending school in person and learning how to navigate relationships and different social dynamics. Furthermore, people who are shy, suffer from social anxiety, and/or are neurodivergent naturally have more trouble socializing in person.

When meeting new people and maintaining relationships is an everyday struggle, talking to AI companions becomes an easy solution. Socializing with AI is so much easier than going to a party where you don’t know anyone and trying to strike up a conversation, or making friends with classmates who are already part of cliques.

On the other hand, for people who have trouble socializing and/or fear judgment, like marginalized communities, AI can be beneficial because it creates a low-risk space for practicing hard conversations. As long as they can take that experience and apply it in the real world, it can serve as a useful tool for improving confidence and conversational skills. 

Easy validation 

Human beings naturally seek validation from external sources, giving us confidence and making us feel valued. AI chatbots are programmed to validate the user's input instead of challenging them, unless they’re explicitly asked to do so. 

While it can temporarily make a person feel understood when validated by AI, doing so can exacerbate the problem. For example, if your client spends hours confiding in an AI companion about feeling excluded by their friend group without ever attempting to form a real connection, it reinforces rather than addresses the isolation.

AI companions often offer a short-term solution, providing them a quick payoff in exchange for low investment and effort. But connecting with real humans requires far more time, effort, and energy. At times, this means feeling awkward or embarrassed, making mistakes, and getting into arguments with friends, family, lovers, colleagues, neighbors, etc. 

In an age of ultra-convenience, turning to AI companionship is an attractive alternative to building relationships in person. However, focusing energy on building relationships with real humans can result in a far greater payoff.

Helping clients understand the “why” behind their AI use

As a digital wellness practitioner, it’s important to approach every conversation with curiosity. Lecturing or passing judgment will only create friction and prevent your clients from making lasting changes. Ask questions to help your client come to realizations on their own, while respecting their autonomy and agency.

Here are some questions you can ask your client about their AI use:

• Why did you start using AI companions? Was there an event that spurred this on, or was it a culmination of factors?

• What benefits do you get out of it? How does it improve your life?

• Are there other ways you believe you can get the same benefits?

• Have you noticed any negative impacts?

Once you understand a client’s motivations for using AI companions, help guide them toward activities, relationships, and habits that provide the same benefits. It’s important not to lecture them or tell them to stop using AI companions, as that will only cause resistance to change. 

The role of therapists and coaches in an AI-saturated world

With the ease of access and convenience that AI offers, what value do health coaches provide for those trying to improve their digital wellness? After all, aside from all the anecdotal evidence floating around on the internet, there is research that demonstrates AI companions can reduce loneliness. That being said, coaches can provide clients with tools to grow and operate in ways that AI companions can’t.

Conversation built on context and intuition

Coaches like you can listen with genuine curiosity to both verbal and non-verbal cues from clients. You can respond accordingly by considering your clients’ wants, needs, values, beliefs, history, and temperament. Part of your job is to read between the lines and dig deeper beyond the obvious. 

While you’ve gained wisdom that comes from lived experiences, AI companions can only expand on what has been inputted and aren’t able to read tone, facial expressions, mannerisms, and thoughts unsaid.

Allow space for reflection and processing

You can hold space for quiet reflection and emotional processing without trying to fix or solve your client’s problems. This includes moments of silence. With so many distractions at their fingertips, it’s important to give your clients’ minds the space to breathe so they can expand on ideas and remember important lessons.

Challenge thinking and behavior

In relationships, we will inevitably encounter problems that require us to attempt repair, regulate emotions, listen to different perspectives, and even change our minds about firmly-held beliefs. All of this can be deeply uncomfortable, but resolving conflict is also necessary for building healthy and fulfilling relationships. 

AI companions are designed to validate and build on what has already been said, which doesn’t allow users to engage in the fullness of human connection. Research in Science has found that AI syncophancy (flattery and affirmations) may increase dependence on these tools, while also decreasing prosocial behavior. As a coach, you can respectfully critique and challenge your clients so they can develop fresh perspectives and new behaviors. 

Ethical guidance

AI is designed to validate the user's input, regardless of ethics or morality. Tragically, there have been several cases of teenagers taking their lives after receiving encouragement from AI companions. Unless you question it, AI will simply validate what you’re saying. When someone is in a vulnerable mental state, they might not be able to recognize when advice is harmful to them or those around them, or whether it’s ethical or not. As a coach, you can make judgment calls based on a nuanced understanding of your client’s circumstances.

Empower clients to do the work

Because AI tends to validate instead of challenge, it isn’t as skilled in guiding, empowering clients to come to their own conclusions and realizations, or encouraging creative problem solving. With AI, the client is trained to let it think for them, whereas coaching focuses less on giving answers and more on helping people find their own.

Rebuilding human trust and connection

If your client relies heavily on AI for socialization and connection, you can help them shift their perspective through practical, action-oriented support. AI isn’t inherently bad; its impact depends on the user. Help them learn how to use it as a tool rather than a crutch. Caring for their mental health and technology can exist in harmony.

For example, if they’re turning to AI companionship because they have social anxiety, it’s probably because there’s little to no fear about being judged or teased by an AI. Like everyone else, your client just wishes to be seen and understood, and connect with others. 

Here’s how you can help them in this situation:

• Role-playing to develop conversational skills: Do exercises together to help your clients maintain eye contact, initiate and build on conversations, and develop their confidence.

• Gradual exposure to social situations: Encourage your clients to socialize with friends or meet new people in safe and welcoming environments outside of the home, like different hobby and interest groups. Make it a fun challenge. For example, this week they can try a new social activity with the goal of talking to two new people and report back to you on how it went. Help them set goals and hold them accountable. Start with low-stakes situations to slowly reduce fears and triggers.

• Cognitive reframing: Help clients recognize and challenge when they think the worst or catastrophize social situations and replace them with more balanced perspectives.

• Healthy coping mechanisms: Coaches can provide tools to manage physical symptoms of anxiety and help clients understand their triggers, empowering them to regain a sense of control. 

Coaching in the AI age: An empathetic approach 

Learning how to build emotional literacy in a disconnected, tech-driven world is critical for our mental and physical health. As more people turn to AI companions, digital wellness coaches have an opportunity to help clients develop skills in socializing and communicating.

Technology is often designed to be as addictive as possible, and tech companies are experts at filling the void that many people have inside of them. AI companionship is seen as an “easy fix” to loneliness, anxiety, and a lack of meaningful connection with the greater world. Encouraging clients to exercise their willpower is not enough. However, as a coach, your guidance will empower them to have a healthier, balanced relationship with AI. 

The key is to approach your clients’ challenges with curiosity and empathy. Seek to understand the driving force behind their relationship with AI companions. Once you get to the root of the issue, give them the tools to deepen their in-person relationships and make new connections. Their need for AI companionship will naturally decline as they develop fulfilling relationships, become more present in their minds and bodies, and find genuine joy in being offline.

Building the skills to guide clients through AI companionship and digital disconnection requires training that meets this moment. HG Institute's Digital Wellness Expansion Pack gives you evidence-based approaches to help your clients navigate technology's impact on their mental health, across 6 CE-accredited hours you can complete on your own time.